Lack of a Weekend

It's Friday night. It's 9:30 pm. And I'm going to bed. Adam is in Houston for his brother's residency graduation dinner. My friends are all at Dartmouth celebrating our 10 year college reunion. And tomorrow I am on-call for the cardiology service. My weekend will be spent evaluating meth abusers and coke addicts for chest pain and heart failure due to their drug habits. I will continue to convince the family of the man who had the massive heart attack that their family member is only continuing to circulate blood because of all the machines we have him hooked up to and he will never wake up, despite their belief in miracles. I will spend countless hours sitting in the ICU trying to figure out how to keep people alive, while they try desperately to die. And really, what I would like to be doing is spending the weekend in Hanover, hanging out with my college friends, exploring our old haunts, and eating EBA's chicken sandwiches. It makes me very sad that I can't be there. Not just because I hate the ICU (I do hate it. I want to go into endocrine for a reason), but because I loved college. I loved who I became while I was there, and the friends I made there are still some of my closest friends. I loved the lifestyle of a college student--having so much time to hang out with friends and freetime on weekends and our disco lemonade parties where the guys all had to sit down because our celeings were freakishly low. I miss the freedom of being a college student, the opportunity to learn about anything from women in religion to vampires in German literature. I even miss the unbelievably cold winters we had up in New Hampshire. I liked having four seasons. But mostly I am sad that my friends are there, and I am not. I know I will get to see everyone again soon at the wedding. And I just saw them all in Seattle for my bachelorette party. But I'm still sad. And my weekend is going to suck. I can't wait to have a normal life again. Although what is a normal life anyway? I guess all I really want is a weekend. One entire 48 hour weekend. Two whole days to myself. That would be nice.